Another Letter from Buster Limburger

Brother Eddie,

Jake Herman's comment touched my heart...yea, my very soul. I need to repent (I said "need to") and would love for someone to present a list of "crazy" Arminians and "crazy" Calvinists so I can compare and see who would be the easiest to convince of my talent. I want to become part of the "Circus" of Churches and a list like that would give me access to many gulli...I mean sincere believers who have plenty of cash.

If anyone makes a comparative listing I just might send them a brand new twenty dollar bill...I said "might".

Your man in straw,

Buster

Meet Tweed Adams - Descendant of Cotton Adams

Mr. Tweed Adams

Received this email today from a new fan of Calvinistic Cartoons...

Mr. Eddings,

I am a direct descendant of the famous Cotton Adams. There are a lot of parallels in our lives I wanted to share with your readers. I will also be requesting any royalties that might belong to me. 

1. Cotton Adams was a circuit rider....I used to work at Circuit City.

2. Cotton Adams had a horse....I have a hoarse throat.

3. Cotton Adams was short of stature....I am short on cash.

4. Cotton  Adams met John Chapman, other wise known as Johnny Appleseed....I bought some chapstick flavored like Apples.

5. Cotton Adams preached to a crowd of 1,000 one night in Memphis from a stagecoach....I was in a crowd of 1,000 one night in Memphis when a preacher fell off the stage.

6. Cotton Adams started churches in several states....I started to go to church in several states.

7. Cotton Adams memorized the New Testament....I once memorized the titles of the books of the New Testament.

8. Cotton Adams fasted every Friday....I eat fast food that's fried.

9. Cotton Adams read books by two candles, for extra light....I read books on my Kindle 2, which is extra light.

10. Cotton Adams died on "Calico" - his horse, while traveling to Sandy Ridge in the Spring. Thomas Sawyer recorded the story. (see Calvinistic Cartoons Tuesday, April 26, 2011 post)....I dyed my calico overcoat a sandy color on the first day of Spring. I was downloading the story of Tom Sawyer on my computer that day.

Your newest fan,

Tweed Adams

Letter from follower #300

Mr. Eddings,

My name is Frito Don Barley. I was your number 300 for about two weeks...until, I spotted something in the archives I didn't agree with! No, I am not an Arminian. I am a Calvinist who is serious about laughter. Call me Inspector General if you must, but your humor is as lame as your helmet. The correct formula for a humor blog, if you indeed call yourself a Christian, is 23% meaningful cartoons with 12% satire and 65% solid theology with footnotes or links. You have failed my standard and I have withdrawn my name from your roster, sir. Get with the program ya little runt. I will pray for you and your kind.

Here's hoping you'll grow up,

Frito Don Barley,

I.G. for Blogger Business Week

P.S. Woe to the next looney tune that signs up as a regular.

Love Letters

My Letter from Loraine Boettner

Loraine Boettner was born on March 7, 1901 and went to be with his Lord and Savior on January 3, 1990. This is a scan or the letter I have taped in my Reformed Doctrine of Predestination hardcover 1980 edition. This serves as a constant reminder of his kindness and his servant attitude, as he was still ministering to students whenever and wherever he could. This is one book I will never be without.